4/01/2024
Non-resistance
♡ At times, in my human experience, I watch and allow emotions to be felt deeply and wholly, of which I would not choose, of which I do not wish to cultivate / act upon / give further energy. { To do otherwise, may be to allow them to fester inside/create a long term blockage, or to “push” them away may allow them to gather strength } There may be a tiny seed, a tiny moment before the emotions are felt where I choose to allow them to encompass me - and in that small instance, I am not for certain if the choice to allow them to be felt is the most loving, but it is my attempt to not bury my truth, to not hide from the darkness. Are not all catalysts, including emotional, there to teach us through the imperfect nature of existence?
By allowing my dark emotions to be felt, they will then leave, almost always within a very short period. I can then, refreshed yet drained, return to my positive focus, return to the polarizing choice, of which is to embody love/light in each moment. In those darker moments, I have felt that I may be a sham, for some emotions are simply so self-critical - how am I then, in those moments, practicing Love as Light …. ? Part of being involves practicing, which could be considered more a sham than a fully encompassing reality, especially in beginnings and endings.
I am here to learn, to see and to feel, on earth realm, the catalysts. To allow myself to feel the effects of the catalysts… and then reinforce the choice of Love by bouncing back (quickly, always so quick - a moment, an hour, a nap) into this… Love is stronger then fear. I breathe, deeply and slowly and with gratitude. I pause, I stop, I relax into this moment, I watch, I learn, I understand the darkness of which is inside me, I accept the shadows, and I choose to move forward, and act upon, and make each conscious step towards that which is more loving, less fearful. Fake it till you make it; invoke the change, find it, cultivate it, grow it. What is worth it is not often easy. In this the inner-work realm, being honest with our selves and allowing the flow of life and nature to co-exist with our free will and focus… there is an art to that, there is an art to simply living.
3/10/2024
Patience {faith, gratitude, trust}
Patience, Faith, Gratitude, Trust <♡—- In practicing faith, gratitude and trust, patience is an important key. Without one in balance, the others are likely to be affected. I have been feeling reminders of how important patience is on the path of creating, learning, changing, and evolving. Without patience, your faith (& will) has a much harder task to stay focused and positive for the long term.
Perhaps one of the way meditations, or quick mental resets back into the present moment, are useful is in slowing down, relaxing, and having patience. If we are not actively lost in the contents of our mind or in a desire, patience may come naturally. Patience can create room for compassion towards that which is now… Very importantly, patience can allow for us to take the time to reflect, meditate on what is, and find the correct path forward. As when indecisive, often the best action is no action, but to wait for when the decision is apparent. If we aren’t patient, we may act regardless.
We are all on unique and individual paths - some of us do not lack patience, but for me, it is something to be conscious of. I can feel the further away I get from patience, the more out of balance I become. I can get so focused on an objective or goal that I am hyper-focused. The constant desire to be better, to succeed in goals, can lead to frustrations when I make mistakes - which is, of course, part of the human experience. Frustration is a rather dark emotion, and while I know to appreciate the dark as well as the light, it is not a very helpful emotion. When it is felt, getting to the root of why it is felt, can be beneficial. I think often frustration is found in impatience - which can be traced all the way back to fear of some sort - as each moment contains a choice between love and fear…
Patience is a part of having faith that what is meant for us will come to us. When we are doing our best to learn from our past, and to stay present while doing the work for our future (for our ‘now’) - we should also relax into the present moment, making sure to breathe freely without tension, and appreciate this moment for what it is.
A reminder to be consistent in practicing the personal habits which bring you joy & lead to health for your mind / body / spirit complex. ♡
3/01/2024
Love is Everywhere &
And thus so is the antithesis of love, at least the potential for it, on this polarized earth plane. It is not ignoring the dark to strive towards embodying love/light. Letting go of the dark inside us creates a world that is improved for our selves & other selves. We can recognize that which is, as we work in a consistent movement of will towards light. The dark can be so dark. The light can be so strong and blinding. We have these words “light” and “dark”, yet they do not fully encompass the absolute nature of either. Sometimes I see myself as a creature struggling towards the love/light, with fierce determination to embody it, hold it, become more worthy of shining in its rays, more agile to play in it. Yet I know love is everywhere, underneath. The conscious choice to seek love in each moment does build upon itself, as to create a sturdy foundation to return to and grow from. With rest and silence, or with the movement of energy, or with simple repetition and habit… we grow and evolve through our focus/will. In learning the ways of love, there is, my lofty goal of transmuting dark into light. &♡.
I intend that in this present moment, you are able to feel the joy in letting go and the beauty of now, and feel the love that you are made from and of. Today, in your own unique way, the joy that sparks from some physical manifestation is felt fully, deeply and with laughter.
2/20/2024
Focusing on Will & Faith
There is an interesting connection in the Ra transcripts regarding free will and faith. Ra most often referred to faith while also referring to will (“will and faith”). I know faith to be of high importance to our personal growth and evolution… (“The faculty of faith or will needs to be understood, nourished, and developed in order to have an entity which seeks past the boundary of third density.” - Ra, 82.29 & “The aspect of faith, the walking into space without regard for what is to come next” - Ra, 67.30). Yet when contemplating how will is deeply connected with faith, I find a new understanding of the connectivity of all, of All being One.
So often in religion, there is a created separation in that faith is held in something apart from ones self. It is not necessarily so much a faith in ones self, as it is a faith in God (and as so often occurs in religion, a faith is cultivated in a form of external worship, with the idea of an external higher force aligning to save us here on earth or after earth through our devotion). When faith is more closely aligned with our personal free will, faith may allow us to evolve and become a more conscious participant, with personal responsibility, as opposed to (always) being at the mercy of catalyst (& “Without catalyst the desire to evolve and the faith in the process do not normally manifest and thus evolution occurs not”-Ra, 54.24).
Without faith in our selves as beings more than this short lived human body complex, we are less likely to consciously work to evolve our selves into the change we wish to see/manifest. Faith may be more about trusting our selves (and yes, higher self, but our SELF here/now first and foremost - as we see with embodying love, one must love thyself!) —♡— Consider the truth of All One. This means you are all that is. The universe is inside you.
The connection between will and faith points to the importance of recognizing there is no true separation (the illusion of separation is fear). Faith is not about giving away your personal power, focus, awareness, attention, etc., it is instead (for me, today) about respecting, trusting in the process of self evolution, learning the ways of love, of inclusion, and of recognizing the creator in all, include ourselves. Thus faith and will allows for intentional creation, as opposed to more randomly sourced creation (Possibly? This is not a dimension of full understanding).
A reminder to be mindful with consciousness (“There is but one technique for growing or nurturing of will and faith, and that is the focusing of the attention.” - Ra, 42.12) .
—♡—♡—♡—♡—
Embodying love and cultivating our individual faith with free will can feel like climbing a mountain here on earth, each step of willful choice and focus taking us higher upwards. The elements could be quite windy, the air colder and more thin, yet this mountain of love, allows us to relax despite these elements, and we can appreciate the elemental catalysts for allowing us to grow, crystalize and evolve...
2/7/2024
The Sun Beams Light Made From Love
“In this (sixth) density some entities whose means of reproduction is fusion may choose to perform this portion of experience as part of the beingness of the sun body. Thus you may think of portions of the light that you receive as offspring of the generative expression of sixth-density love.” - Ra, 41.5
Sixth density is the density of unity, in which love and wisdom are blended together.
Ra is sixth-density - Ra is/was considered the God of the Sun in Egyptian times.
So, when the sun rises, and it’s rays are felt: feel the Love intention, Love vibration, Love energy!
2/3/2024
Desire
There are ways to keep desire healthy, motivational, understood and in-check. Un-checked desire leads to suffering. Checking a desire can be practiced by observing a desire/thought for what it is, as opposed to getting lost in the desire/thought. By getting lost, I refer to allowing your mind to follow the thought so far that your entire personal will has left your physical senses and is now focused on this thought, and then your creative mind creates this fantasy-idea of what you think you need for happiness and fulfillment (to achieve the desire which you may think you now need to achieve to feel happiness). This happens often by “the bar being raised” once a goal is achieved - then something new comes in to takes it’s place of what we think we need to be happy - this is sort of hard wired into the human psyche; if we don’t do inner “work” along with our outer “work”, it is easy to fall into certain restrictive traps such as this.
For me the simplest way to not get lost in a desire is by observing the space between myself and the desire, and then re-centering into The Present.
There is definitely a time/space for strategy towards all our goals/desires, and a need to stay open towards all that can help us achieve them. Creation can get lost in creation. Work is a present moment immersion into creation, not a internal fantasy of what we think we want. Gratitude for what we have now, is a potent anti-thesis to suffering, thus, to un-checked desire. I don’t NEED any desire-fulfillment to find love in each moment. Life presents us with gifts and opportunities. It is often seen as “luck” to recognize these opportunities and act upon them. The gifts and opportunities life provides for us, are often overlooked, ignored, cast aside due to some internal mental block, or not given enough gratitude. As for desire… goals are healthy. Work is healthy. I think we just need to stay present, with patience and faith, as to make sure we don’t get lost in desire itself, and then find ourselves immersed in suffering.
1/13/2024
Relax and Surrender vs. Resistance
The topic of resistance is a nuanced one, as it is connected to many complex ways we live our life, internally and externally. Michael Singer (who I love!) wrote in Living Untethered and Untethered Soul about his base message: Relax, don’t resist. This is important to understand, when it comes to relaxing internally around feelings, emotions, and the thoughts that pass through us. Through relaxing we can allow thoughts and emotions to exist and depart without clinging to them, or burying them inside by resisting them (thus keeping traumas around longer).
So, do we also attempt to relax around the seemingly endless catalysts we experience on earth? (Yes.) And what about our goals, passions, desires, and what we think we want… do we cling to what we think we want, or relax in the present moment? Michael Singer will point out here: how do you know what you think you want? All you have to go on is your past experiences. Your past experiences are just a collection of the tiniest bit of data input, through your very small lens, in comparison to the infinite size of the universe…
Perhaps living in a state of non-resistance involves a bit of a balancing act, internal discernment, and mainly: Trust. Faith, in your connectivity to something much larger than your small perspective and sensory data. Faith that through that connectivity to something beyond your physical human lens, you are guided into the best possible personal scenarios if you lead with an open heart, love, and non-resistance. (And through this mind state, we can frame catalysts as helping us learn/grow, even if they are difficult, they are leading us somewhere golden…)
However, surely… we cannot always live our life in a state of non-resistance. There are too many dark / light temptations to navigate: we need to be careful of what type of food we eat, what type of media we allow ourselves to be exposed to, injustices we perceive, what pleasures we allow… so we have surface level resistance and deeper level resistance. Self-awareness can come into fruition here: through being mindful of when we are resisting, we can see the source of resistance - is this habitual resistance born of past programming or fear of the outcome? Is this resistance not wanting to deal with what the universe has put squarely in front of you to deal with? Is this resistance turning you into a grumpy frowny tense person?
Often, we can stop resisting what is in front of us mentally and physically, through self-awareness. We can remind ourselves to relax, have faith (however that manifests for us personally), and to always lead with and choose love whenever possible.
Whatever our life intentions or goals are (as they change) - intentions are important. Working each day with our free-will to live our intentions to the best of our abilities, sharpening and strengthening our self through the endless catalysts life will throw at us… this feels like a good path. So enters the art of balancing intention with resistance, or relaxing. So I am thinking this morning, on balancing resistance with intuition, discernment & self-awareness. Resistance does come at a price, so realizing if we are resisting something, I would like to make sure it is from a place of love. A reminder to be patient and not rush. To have the goal of moving with intention on a larger scale yet with the least possible resistance on the minor scale. And a goal to not ever let go of faith: internally hold the faith. Hone self-awareness, as the watcher taking outside events less personal, not getting lost in thought-forms, steady on with our personal intentions, relaxing into the here & now...
And a paradox, a need to love the hate which exists on earth, through the love in the veins of earth. Love which streams up and through in rays. To celebrate and appreciate. The need to know YOU are whole and complete, you are beautiful, you are every thing, you are the light and you are the dark and you, I love…
12/29/2023: Visualization Meditation ♡ Meditating on a symbol, or an entire scene that we can immerse ourselves in mentally. When I was a little girl I remember being very attracted to drawings of trees which had hearts in them. Hearts carved into the tree bark, pink hearts in the trees, hearts hidden in the drawing. This attraction never went away. In short meditations, I sometimes enjoy envisioning a massive, strong, golden tree network, of which a society of people can climb and navigate. The trees have heart shaped doors on different levels, inside are cozy homes. I envision crystal fractal roofs inside the living trees, displaying rainbows of color. I can picture sitting on a tree limb, feeling the golden rays spiraling out of the tree, and I can put the people near me at the time, around the tree, benefiting from its healing energy, basking in a moment in time where there is only love, warmth, and abundance. This type of loving visual meditation is found in Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation. It is a simple, yet powerful tool to raise your internal energy and re-center to find a more loving calmness. No formal practice or study is necessary to simply imagine and meditate on your own personal loving symbols and landscapes. You can reference and draw upon these symbols when you might be otherwise flooded with darker thought-forms or realities.
12/25/2023: Love where you are at ♡♡♡ (the art there-of) Loving the present moment. Free to grow and breathe. Free to cultivate health. Free to enjoy musical vibrations flowing. Free to witness rainbows of colors in each moment. Free to infinitely chisel away at the crystal of your soul, to have a grounded base, free to relax into the energy flow. Free to be imperfectly unique. Free to love. Free to fail and free to succeed in the same moment. Holidays can be strong catalysts. They can thrust into our awareness things we need to work on, how lost/found we are. Relaxing into discomfort, feeling freedom within our selves, dancing wherever we can dance, in our mind in our thoughts in our body in our soul. Merry Soul Evolution.
12/16/23: Thinking of the strength, power and importance of faith. Through faith, we can pinpoint our direction to a singular purpose or desire, and then through strength of will, buoyed up through our faith, work towards that purpose with optimism and love. Through faith we can understand that we are not living for a future moment in time, but we are living in this moment in time, tapped into the energetic flow of the spiritual universe, through which we do our best to let that beautiful energy flow through us, guide us, help us and lead us on our most personally meaningful path.
What is faith? For some, they may dismiss faith as being a strictly religious practice, or that it means believing in something specific. I believe there are multiple definitions for faith, and we all have our own personal definition, there is no right or wrong definition, as the meaning of words, beyond what the dictionary tells us, are formed through our own very individual and personal experiences.
In 2016, when my spiritual life underwent a very abrupt change, I wrote 4 words in my phone notebook. “Faith, Patience, Trust, Gratitude”. These words would guide me through my current spiritual path which has involved many detours but no dead ends. Faith is the cornerstone. I will define my own personal definition of faith: it is an understanding that there is a current of energy which runs through me, you, and all beings. This energy is intelligent. This energy is protective, this energy is personalized for each individual being and soul. This energy contains a knowing, and is perhaps a part of an unconscious mind or, unconscious consciousness (in the human experience). The more I stay open, and aware, and the more I listen internally, and allow time/space to process my catalysts, the more this energy can help direct my life towards what we might call kismet, or destiny. This energy is tangible. Through faith, it is infinitely easier for me to choose love in each moment, instead of fear. Through faith I am allowed to center myself within, knowing all that is needed is within, always present.
There are layers to faith I feel that are undefinable, and I wish upon every human being the ability to cultivate their own personal faith, based in love.
12/9/2023: Love in Spirit & Love in Tangible. It can be difficult to make sense of catalysts at times, especially when you are actively engaging with catalysts which are forcefully difficult on the surface, physical level. When looking back at previous catalysts, struggles I have risen above, or simply seemed to endure for long periods, I can see clearly how they benefited me on a soul strength level- “If I can overcome that, I’m much stronger than I realized”… Yet! Often our catalysts in modern society, seem to be more offshoots of a vast macrocosm of social ill-health. We may be going about our business, perfectly healthy and content, when something fully outside of our control (often deeply negative) hits us and we are suddenly deep into suffering. It is very important, I believe, to realize it is at these deepest moments of suffering, when it is time for us to do the deepest work. For me I do not struggle with anger, it is more short lived bouts of frustration and self-doubt, frustration that I think I know how to live healthy and help others live and be healthy, yet I’m not fully encompassing that, right now in every moment… I like to be aware, and notice my self when these thoughts arise, identify them, acknowledge them, but never feed them or lean into them and have self-pity or believe it will be a lasting moment.
Energy is often given less importance than its due; by energy I mean our human forms contain an energy of which we get to direct via our own personal free will. By coming back to my center, which, in gratitude, is quite solid and self love is very real at this time - I can watch the momentary frustrations fade, and know that the difficulties I experience will all pass- all good, all bad, all passes! I can do my best to learn, grow and evolve in all ways through all times. I can be appreciative that I am not chained down by any process addiction, or even relationship… that I am able to go immerse myself in nature, that I have the ability to do so, that I have the connection WITH nature which allows me to feel energy rise up out of earth, good and bad - yin and yang - choosing love in each moment is not always easy, but once you see it is a choice, you can work towards the choosing. Staying open and loving allows me to be receptive to new ideas and experiences, which are integral to growing and evolving, and achieving deep mental/physical/spiritual health.
Unconditional love is the primary building block to heal this beautiful earth realm and allow us to thrive in less suffering. Unconditional love towards the world begins with unconditional love towards our selves. Unconditional love allows us to make mistakes, but also allows us to heal from and stop making those mistakes by getting clear of the self perpetuating cycles where suffering breeds more suffering. Compassion, not judgement!
12/6/2023: Non-attached appreciation is a very helpful practice to stay in the present moment - and appreciate it! Flow state. Trusting in your Self beyond this physical self - holding that Faith - allowing your physical self to be open, guided, trusting, loving one and all - shadow work being loving the dark as well as the light - accepting - leading with compassion, for your self first off, and then all other selves…If it triggers you, examine it, allow it, let it go... Appreciate the catalysts, the challenges, work on what you are afraid of by leading with love in all ways… Use your own discernment to take what you like, and leave the rest.. this is me speaking to myself, I would never presume to know what is best for other selves! Free will is paramount, love and freedom and kindness and gratitude and faith. Without faith, what are you doing, how are you growing, what is your purpose? When you were a small child, did you not have faith? When did you lose your faith due to external stimuli? If you have faith, how much gratitude have you felt for that self empowerment today? Forget not that every moment is a choice between love & fear.
